One Year of Marriage

Casey and I just celebrated our one year wedding anniversary over the past weekend.  It’s incredible to think that it’s been a year already.  We only dated for a couple of weeks before he asked me to marry him, and we were married less than two months after that.  People have always told me that the first year of marriage is the hardest, and it is difficult; but it has also been a lot of fun, too.  It probably sounds strange, but I didn’t realize I was falling in love with Casey as it was happening.  He was one of my best friends and I was dating someone else.  After realizing how I felt about Casey, and not knowing how he felt about me, I broke up with the guy I was seeing, who happened to be a good friend of Casey’s.  I wasn’t sure how Casey would take it when I told him how I felt about him.  I thought he might tell me that because I had dated one of his friends, he wouldn’t date me; but I didn’t want to spend my life wondering what might have happened.  So I told him over the phone because I was out of town, and he responded with: “You pretty much had me from hello”.  At the same time, it was scary for him because he didn’t want to betray his friend, and my ex-boyfriend.  It didn’t take long, though, for him to make his decision, and I’m thankful for the decision he ended up making.  A few days before he asked me to marry him, he told me, “So…I had more propane put in the tank today…” 

                Confused, I responded with, “Oh…that’s…nice…” all the while I was thinking: Why would I care about something like that???

                “So I was thinking that maybe you could move in here…” he said. 

                My heart started beating really fast.  I had lived with my ex-boyfriend, and I was really tired of playing the role of being a wife before I was actually a wife.  “Can I think about it?” I asked, “It’s not that I don’t want to…it’s just…I have a few things to figure out is all…”

                “Yeah, that’s fine,” he said. 

                A few days later, we were sitting on the steps of his house, getting ready to go to a rodeo, when he asked me casually, “So what do you think of the last name, Harvey?” 

                Again, confused, I thought about Harvey’s Green House (a local shop), and then thought of his last name and said, “Well, it’s a nice strong name…”

                “I mean what do you think of Jenny Harvey.  Jennifer Harvey.  How do you think that sounds?” he asked. 

                “Uh…It sounds…I mean…It…wait.  Are you asking me to marry you?”  I asked, stunned. 

                “Do you want to get married?” he asked. 

                “To you?” (I know, duh, Jenny).  It was just one of those moments that you see something happening, but you can’t believe it’s actually happening. 

                Casey was nervous, I could tell, and he said, “Yes, to me.  Do you want to get married?” 

                “I didn’t think I would ever want to get married again,” I started to explain, “at least not for a long time…but I would love to marry you,” I said with a huge smile on my face. 

                With the biggest grin on his face, he said, “Okay…So what now?”

                “Well…when are you thinking?”  I asked.

                “Soon,” he said. 

                “How soon is soon?” I asked. 

                “How long does it take?” he asked.

                “Well, I think we can go to the courthouse, apply for a license, and get married a few days after that…” I said.

                “You mean you have to wait three days?!” he asked. 

                Long story short, that was Labor Day weekend, and we decided we would get married in October so our parents could be with us.  It was a beautiful wedding and everything I had ever dreamed about as a little girl.  The year that has followed, however, has been the absolute best year of my life.  Sure, there are always bumps along the way, but we are still best friends.  We work together, talk to each other, laugh, take care of one another, and have each others’ best interests at heart.   I read somewhere once that a marriage shouldn’t be 50/50; you each need to give 100% in order to make things truly work, and I agree with that.  I don’t have all of the answers…no one does.  But I feel very, very lucky because I’ve watched him fret over making sure our vehicles are in good working order, spend hours getting the tractor to run well so he can bale hay for my horses, care for me when I’m sick, drive through a blizzard to get to me to make sure I was okay, get stuck, and try to flag down a snow plow…all to make sure I was okay (I had dropped my cell phone in water and the electricity was out), and bend over backwards to make sure that I not only have what I need; but that we are working to make both of our dreams come true.  I do think one thing that is important is to always keep dreaming.  Have dreams together, but keep some personal dreams and goals for yourself; and do everything you can to help one another achieve those dreams.