NYC Embarrassing Moments (Probably Part 1 of Many)

I lived in New York City for a while.  During that time, my mom came out fairly frequently to visit.  I lived on Staten Island, and the most cost effective way of commuting into Manhattan was taking the train from where I lived to the Staten Island Ferry, and boom, we were in Manhattan.  While the train was cost effective, I hated taking it because it seemed like it took forever and a day to get there with all of the stops.  Unless you take the express train.  But that only runs on weekday mornings and evenings.  I could drive there in about 20 minutes, but the train took anywhere from 45 minutes to an hour.  Ugh.  Lots of people, lots of stops, and lots of really hard seats.  It was fun  taking this train with my mom though. 

It was during the holiday season in New York City.  This time of year in New York is my favorite.  The shops are swarming with people and all decked out in holiday bliss.  It’s really spectacular and dare I say, almost worth fighting the holiday crowds to see it.  You can go for a carriage ride, shop at Macy’s (which is an experience in of itself).  If you are visiting from out of state, you get a discount, so go to the second floor to customer service and you’ll get a 10% or 15% (can’t remember) discount on everything you purchase at Macy’s that day!  Also, check out the Shake Shack.  Get the burger, cheese fries, and a shake.  Now that I have derailed myself, I’ll get back on track.

So my mom was out there with me, and we decided to hop the train and head on into Manhattan.  I was thrilled at first because we were sailing past the first half of the stops.  We must have gotten on the express train!  Although I was thinking to myself that the express train usually makes stops on the last half of the island (I, of course was the very last stop, or farthest away from the Ferry Terminal).  I didn’t think too much about it and expected to stop in the middle of the island.  We didn’t.  Wow!  This was glorious!  I made a mental note to check to see which express train we had taken so I could take it in the future. 

As we rode on into the Ferry Terminal, we went to this disheveled part of the terminal.  Huh.  That’s weird… We got off, and a worker there asked us how we got on the train.  I looked around and could see no one other than my mom, and put my hand over my chest and said, “Me? I mean us?”  He asked again how we had gotten on the train.  A little dumbfounded, I said, “We walked on…”  Thinking in my head, “How else do you get on a train you moron?”  He proceeded to ask again.  Huh.  Apparently this wasn’t getting through his head… “Well Sir, the doors were open and we just walked on.”  Then he explained that we weren’t supposed to be on the train; that it had been taken in for repairs.  Oh.  Wow.  It was me who was the moron.  Great.  Doesn't God get tired of these moments with me?  Or did he put me on this earth for his pure entertainment.  I really wonder about that sometimes... Back to my situation. Were there any signs?  Oh.  Yes indeed there was a sign.  A big red one right on the back that said, “NOT IN SERVICE”.  Oh.  Huh.  Okay.  “So…how do we get out of here?”  I asked.  They escorted us right on out and into the Ferry Terminal.  That was embarrassing. 

I had lots of embarrassing moments in New York.  Another time was when my cousin, Lindsay, and I decided to go this awesome café.  We had decided to go there because we had been walking around Central Park at a holiday market and I had just realized that I had somehow manged to get a wad of underwear stuck in the pant leg of my jeans.  That explained why my jeans felt tighter than usual. I was mortified, but relieved at the same time that the tightness in my jeans was due to underwear and not the 50,000 calories I had eaten within the last few days.  But then that could have been a contributing factor as well.  This was about mid afternoon and I had been walking around with a bluge in the back of my leg for hours.  In front of thousands of people nontheless.  I told Lindsay that we had to stop somewhere...I didn't tell her why.  We stopped in at a bank entrance, and no one was in there (banks were closed that day...don't remember why).  So I rolled up my pants and pulled the underwear out of my pant leg.  Lindsay was crying she was laughing so hard.  In a what would be futile effort to give my ego a pick me up, we decided to grab a bite to eat.  I don’t remember the name of it but Lindsay and I have a problem with food.  We can be rather glutinous.  And we love cheese.  And fatty foods.  We had looked up the restaurants that were supposed to have the best macaroni and cheese (we are macaroni and cheese connoisseurs) earlier and we went to one of them. 

In fact, Lindsay has a shirt similar to this one here.  Anyway, we proceeded to have a chocolate shake, a chocolate malt, macaroni and cheese, pigs in a blanket, and I think a grilled cheese sandwich??? I can’t remember.  The Mac and Cheese was phenomenal.  Best I have ever had.  And that’s saying a lot.  The pigs in a blanket were giant sausages wrapped in pastries.  We were in heaven, and just about ready for dessert.  When the waiter came back he had our check ready.  Before I could open my mouth to say, “We would like to see your dessert menu, please.” He said, “Well I would offer you ladies dessert, but I think you have consumed enough calories for the entire week...”  Maybe he thought he was saving us, I don’t know.  But he cut us off.  From food.  It was very disappointing and rather embarrassing.  I have never been cut off from food before.  I suppose you could argue that the shake and the malt were desserts, but we were thinking of those more as beverages…in any event, if you go to NYC, and there is a particular food you like, check to see which restaurants offer the best of what you like.  It’s New York, I’m sure they have it!  And enjoy!  If you want to be glutinous like us, it might be best to take someone along with you.  Preferably someone that isn’t hungry so you can disguise the fact that you are eating this all yourself.  Or, take someone along with you that’s not afraid to fight for dessert.