Sorry, Sam...

I had to take Sofie to the vet the other day because she had an ear infection.  Remember how I mentioned that Sam kept licking her over and over again, and how I would scold him for licking the cat?  Well...this is the second time in less than a month that I have not listened to Sam and regretted it.  The first time was a few weeks ago when Casey got up in the middle of the night and stepped in dog poop.  His outburst after that debacle is what really woke me up.  When I asked what had happened, he informed me that he had just stepped in dog poop.  I looked at the clock, and it was about 5 minutes before my alarm was supposed to go off.  The night before, I had decided to give myself an extra 15 minutes of sleep, and I knew that if I had left my alarm at the normal time, I would have been the one who had stepped in the dog poop.  I clasped my hands together and whispered, "Thank you, Lord!!!"  I realize that probably sounds selfish, but I had woken up and stepped in cat puke the day before and was the first one to discover that the trash had been strewn about the house earlier that week, so I figured it was about time for Casey to make such a grizzly discovery.  Sam was sitting on the floor, right beside me and was just trembling.  "Well, you did it now, buddy," I remarked and got up to take a shower.  Casey scolded Sam and cleaned up the mess while I was in the shower. 

Several days later it was Saturday morning and I was sitting on the couch, holding one of our baby chicks because it was so cute, I had just bought it, and it would fall asleep in my hands.  So, there I was sitting on the couch, watching the news, and holding a baby chick while I was slowly coming to life.  Guinness walked over, squatted down directly in front of me, but just barely out of reach, and pooped right there in front of me, all the while looking at me as if to say: "What are you going to do about it?"  I couldn't believe it!  "Guinness you little SHIT!"  I whispered, not wanting to wake Casey up.  I couldn't do anything because I was holding a baby chick and didn't want to scare it.  At that moment, Casey walked around the corner and said, "What the hell!"
"I know," I said, shaking my head and taking the chick to the spare bedroom where its cage was, "I'll clean it up..."
"That's not what I meant," he said, "All of that came from the cat?!?!" 
"Yeah, I know.  It's a lot of crap, huh?  I can't believe he did that!  He just sat there, right in front of me and pooped!"  Sam came around the corner, and either smelled or saw the pile of cat crap in the middle of the living room and turned around and ran back to his bed, shaking. 
"He must be really mad at you for having those baby chicks in the house," Casey said. 
"Really? I just thought he was having a poopa palooza contest with Sam," I said, sarcastically. 
"Well...actually that may have been cat poop," Casey said, "In fact...I'm pretty sure it was...poor Sam."
"Poor Sam!" I said. "How could you mistake cat poop for dog poop???  He's ten times the size of Guinness!" I couldn't help but think that maybe his dad should have had a pink bandanna outlining different animal feces like my dad had when I was growing up...then perhaps he wouldn't have made such a mistake. 
"I didn't know that porker could pump out that much crap!!!"  he said, shaking his head, "I guess that fuzzy little turd does eat a lot..."  
I went into the bedroom and gave Sam a hug and apologized. 

So, after that story, and after I had repeatedly scolded Sam for licking Sofie's ear only to find that he was licking her ear because he could smell the ear infection before I knew it existed, I have decided that I am just going to give Sam the benefit of the doubt and assume he is right.  He has been an innocent bystander almost every time a situation involving poo, vomit, or garbage strewn across the house, lately.  As for licking Sofie, he was just trying to tend to her infection before either Casey or myself knew about it. 

Since taking Sofie to the vet and getting her ears cleaned out and doses of antibiotics morning and night, I've noticed that Sam walks by Sofie and sniffs her ear to check it out, and then just walks off because the infection is almost gone, if not completely gone by now. 

Guinness is now back to pooping in his litter box, which is in the best interest of his health and life.  I did tell him that he still could make a good banjo...